The Sensory Home

i never ever liked to study.  i hated it in high school, and i learned to begrudgingly repsect it so far in my university career.
i got pissed off at my family tonight cause i was trying to study.  maybe it's my fault for not warning them that when i get into study mode i get really snappy if people bother me.
so off to the public library i go.
you know, when i was a kid, everyone told me that you go to the library and you be quiet and you dont talk because that's not what libraries are for.
i guess in the interim years people must have reassessed this notion.
do you have ANY idea how annoying it is to have 5 high school fucktwats talking ten feet away from you while you're trying to read a 23 page article about the regression of the tourist into a childlike state in Freudian terms?
i hate Freud enough already, it only makes it worse when you have to tune those assholes out.
i also saw my old high school religion teacher, who happened to go sit down at a table with three of the fuckhats and start talking too.  he waved.  i waved.  i went back to freud.
the little part of my brain in the background reminded me i havent gone over to the high school yet.
the bigger part of my brain said "shut the fuck up, you need to learn this, and you already decided you arent going anyway."
when i spend a few hours hardcore reading to motor through stuff i get really irritable immediately after.  and then i get twitchy if i dont take some down time.
ths i am hiding in the basement trying to figure out some down time.  and feeling tweaked.
actually, im kind of happy about feeling tweaked.  i havent felt academically challenged for a while.  this makes me happy.  it's a good tweak.
i enjoy it.
it's sad to say that reading how tourist brochures appeal to people because it sends them into a childlike state within which they can live out fantasies and then get frustrated because it's all based on Freudian psychology is like a drug to me.